#40 She Knows All
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I always believed in long engagements. Until I had an actual, living, breathing fiancee of my own. At that point if it had been possible, the wedding would have taken place before the proposal. I wanted to seal the deal before she discovered my failings and inadequacies.
You guys know exactly which deficiency I’m talking about. That’s right, I can’t keep track of anything.
Our first apartment as newlyweds was so small our phone number only had five digits. We had to buy our furniture from the Mattel Barbie Dreamhouse ™ collection. The oven (a masterpiece of industrial miniaturization) couldn’t actually accommodate a regular sized cookie sheet or cake pan. All of our desserts looked like petit-fours and we had Cornish Game Hens instead of roast chickens.
We inhabited something with less actual living space than most recreational vehicles. It should have been impossible for me to lose track of anything, let alone an entire pair of pants.
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Tags: humor essay | memory | marriage | relationships | modern life | griddlecakes
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it’s a shame you could keep track of your 5 digit phone number but not to a whole pair of jeans…