#56 Annual Report

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Take a new job at any company in America — from stock boy at a ‘Mom and Pop’ grocery store to janitor for the CIA’s Division of Double Secret Incarceration — and I guarantee that within a day you’ll hear two things from your employer.

First, someone will say you’ve joined “a fast-paced team environment.” Then they’ll say, “We’re like a family here.”

Yeah, that special kind of family which includes annual performance reviews, termination for cause, and the ever-present threat of layoffs if the economy goes south. The only real families like that are heavily involved in illicit activities. Does your employer really want you to think you work for the Sopranos?

On the other hand, maybe it’s a hint that we should run our families more like businesses. With the proper application of management theory we should be able to get our families turned around and profitable in no time. In that spirit, I’m happy to present the Cummings Family Annual Report for Fiscal ’07.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

Want to get the rest of this or others like it? Check out the whole audio essay and related links at www.ShortCummingsAudio.com.

Tags: humor essay | humor column | annual report | business | family