#97 Olympic Dreams

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The Olympic Games represent the best in human endeavor. The spirit of friendly competition, the years of training, and the satisfaction of seeing our athletes overcome competitors who live in countries where indoor plumbing is a luxury item. It’s a time of special pride for Americans and I’m sure you share my sentiment when I say, “Just how many commercials can they put in one hour?”

Every company in America (and a few from beyond our shores) is planning to cash in on the games. There’s an official car, an official swim suit, an official shoe, and an official soft-drink. I’ll bet there’s even an official nasal spray and an official liquid drain cleaner.

Of course that’s not what the Olympics is about. The Olympics is about competition. That means yet another “Dream Team.” As Americans it is our duty to watch the U.S.A. basketball team play. It doesn’t matter that the results sound more like blood-pressure readings than basketball scores. (“122 over 36–Your systolic is good, but your diastolic is a little low.”) It doesn’t matter that it’s like watching the L.A. Lakers play the Richard M. Nixon Middle School team. What matters is that you get to watch a team whose total annual income is larger than the gross national product of most of the countries they play…

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NOTES: 

• Although I teased about the Olympics in this episode, I really do have great respect for the amateur athletes who work so hard to compete and the many people organize and execute the games. You can learn more about the history and organization of the Olympic movement at its official website:
  http://www.olympic.org.
• If you’d like to find out about the athletes representing the United States this year, check out the U.S. Olympic Team home page:
  http://www.usoc.org/
• Finally, please do consider subscribing to Grammar Girl’s Quick and Dirty Tips for Better Writing. It’s a great podcast and you should also consider subscribing to her free e-mail news letter. You can find info on both at:
  http://grammar.quickanddirtytips.com.

Tags: humor essay | funny story | olympics | competition | guys | comedy