#100 Let’s Give Mom Some Credit

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According to the excessively capitalized and exclamation-point-laden e-mail I received last week, I! CAN EARN A DEGREE! RIGHT NOW! FOR WORK EXPERIENCE I’VE! ALREADY! HAD! Unlike your traditional university which requires students to waste time studying and learning, the people who sent me the e-mail recognize the value of my forced participation in the School of Hard Knocks. Over the years I’ve messed up assignments, missed deadlines, made bad decisions and (on occasion) backed the wrong horse, candidate, political party, or fashion choice. I’d always assumed those were moments of shame, but now I can see them for what they really were…learning experiences; experiences that entitle me to a Ph.D. in Individual Life Management. All I have to do is submit a one-time processing fee of three-hundred fifty dollars.

I’m a little skeptical. I’m not sure I’ve had a doctoral-degree’s-worth of life experiences. What if they decide not to give me the degree after I send them the check?

On the other hand, I’m pretty sure that my wife — and, in fact, all moms — qualify easily. In the eighteen-plus years she’s been a mom my wife has had extensive, on-the-job training in arts, psychology, chemistry, mathematics, literature, English, emergency medicine, small animal veterinary care, fashion design, and counseling…
 

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Like this excerpt? Want the whole story? Listen to the audio version by clicking the ‘Play’ button at the top of this post.

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IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT

My new book My Favorite Shortcomings is now available. You can purchase a copy for $6.99 or download the free electronic version. All of the details are available at:

http://libsyn.com/static/shortcummingsaudio/book.html

NOTES: 

• Want to know more about Mother’s Day around the world?
  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mother%27s_Day
• The book Too Many Bunnies really is a classic. If you haven’t read it, check out the author’s website at:
  http://www.rickwalton.com

Tags: humor essay | funny story | mom | motherhood | mother’s day | comedy