Posted in February 17, 2007 ¬ 12:15 amh.Kevin
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When a young woman asked my son to the girl’s choice dance and he didn’t accept immediately, I offered some fatherly advice.
“Are you nuts? What if she changes her mind? Call her back right now and say you’ll go!”
“That wouldn’t be creative Dad,” he said in a not-quite-patient tone. It’s the same tone the cashier uses when I try to sneak eleven items in the ten-items-or-less line by claiming that hot dogs and buns go together naturally so they shouldn’t really count as two things.
Creative? As it turns out it meant sending the young lady a mystery to solve. My son left an encrypted message in her locker which directed her to the choir room where he’d hidden another message agreeing to go out with her. When did dating turn into The DaVinci Code?
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Want to get the rest of this? Check out the whole audio essay and related links at www.ShortCummingsAudio.com.
If you’re interested in finding creative ways to ask someone out, you might check this link or this one.
Tags: humor essay | dating | proposal | kids | family | griddlecakes
Posted in February 10, 2007 ¬ 12:15 amh.Kevin
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My children have always believed in magic. When they were little they were big fans of the Tooth Fairy, the Easter Bunny and Santa Claus. Now it’s the Toilet Paper Fairy, the Laundry Bunny and … well … Santa still makes the top three so long as he comes through with the goods.
If you’ve avoided a reproductive dip in the gene pool, you’ve probably never heard of the Toilet Paper Fairy. Late at night, when the house is quiet and dark, the Toilet Paper Fairy emerges from under the stairs and checks the thickness of each installed roll. Deficient rolls are replaced from the Strategic Toilet Paper Reserves which are stashed in an undisclosed location known only to the Toilet Paper Fairy and Vice President Cheney.
At least that’s what my children think.
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Want to get the rest of this? Check out the whole audio essay and related links at www.ShortCummingsAudio.com.
Tags: humor essay | chores | magical thinking | kids | family | griddlecakes
Posted in February 3, 2007 ¬ 12:15 amh.Kevin
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For the past two years I’ve attended the Sundance Film Festival. It’s not as glamorous as you might think, but then again I’ve never attended the part you’ve seen on TV.
When you watch reports from Sundance, you’re seeing Park City, Utah. It started as an silver town founded by miners with a fondness for strong drink. Today it’s a resort town favored by millionaires with a fondness for strong drink. During the festival the major activities are drinking, spotting celebrities (if you’re a nobody), being spotted (if you’re a celebrity).
You can’t walk ten inches down the sidewalk without hearing someone yell, “Hey! Is that Tom Hanks?”
It probably isn’t because the person they are likely pointing toward is a middle-aged ski bum/barista who is standing behind a counter serving twelve dollars worth of espresso in something the size of a medicine cup.
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Want to get the rest of this? Check out the whole audio essay and related links at www.ShortCummingsAudio.com.
I’m pleased to report that Once won the World Cinema Audience Award for Drama. Part of the appeal of the film is the music which can be found on the album The Swell Season.
The films and places referenced in this essay include:
BREAKING NEWS (2/3/07):
Contrary to what I said in this episode,
Once has been sold to Fox Searchlight. You can read the full story
here. It was also selected as the “Best of the Fest” feature. Congratulations to all of the talented people who made this terrific film and best of luck with the release!
Tags: humor essay | sundance | glen hansard | griddlecakes
Posted in January 27, 2007 ¬ 9:15 amh.Kevin
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I follow a simple rule for safe living; never enter a home where I have performed any maintenance work on the plumbing or electrical systems.
When it comes to home repairs I am the very model of unskilled labor.
This isn’t an inherited trait. Given any domestic mechanical problem, my father can work miracles. With a ball of foil, a Dixie cup, a skein of yarn and twenty-five grams of uranium 232, he could whip up a nuclear reactor capable of powering Cleveland for a month. The McGuyver gene must skip a generation because given the same materials the best I’d manage would be a piece of non-representational sculpture that glowed slightly and caused cancer with prolonged exposure.
Yet still I try.
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Want to get the rest of this? Check out the whole audio essay and related links at www.ShortCummingsAudio.com.
Tags: humor essay | home repairs | storytelling | griddlecakes
