Podcast: Play in new window | Download

My beloved and I recently celebrated our twenty-first wedding anniversary. After putting up with me for more than two decades I figured she deserved something special. I checked with the Nobel people to see if they had a category for endurance in a marriage. No luck.

So an award was out. I checked the web to find the traditional gifts for people whose marriage is of legal drinking age. Any guesses? Elegant dinnerware? Fine fabrics? Sweet foods? Nope. Nickel, brass and iolite.

Which raises an important question; what the heck is iolite?

Turns out it’s a shiny purple rock that’s part iron, part aluminum and all cheap. It is officially described as resembling quartz with “a greasy or vitreous luster”. Makes you want to run right out and get a big ol’ iolite necklace for your sweetheart, right?

 -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

If you like this small sample and want to hear the rest of the essay (or others like it),please visit the Short Cummings Audio website at www.shortcummingsaudio.com.

If you’re curious about the Roomba mentioned in this article, surf on over and visit the good folks at www.irobot.com

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

I still wonder from time to time; what if I had become an international super-spy?

Well, for one thing, it’s a good bet I’d drive something other than a mini-van. Spies get cool sports cars with exciting gadgets, leather upholstery and an exotic blond in the passenger seat. Dads get mini-vans with cup-holders, ground-up cheerios in the upholstery and … well, it’s best if we stop this comparison before getting to the passenger seat.

That’s not to say that the modern dad lacks for automotive high-tech. Instead of knock-out gas to keep the passengers quiet, Dads get in-car DVD players that perform much the same function.

Ejector seats? No. Car seats which perform the opposite function. If James Bond had ever strapped Odd Job into a car seat, Odd Job would be there to this day. For escape-proof, nothing beats the good-old BabyCo SnugglyKins Twelve-Point Passive Restraint System ™.

 -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

If you like this small sample and want to hear the rest of the essay (or others like it),please visit the Short Cummings Audio website at www.shortcummingsaudio.com.

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

My wife and I take two radically different approaches to gardening. She negotiates with Mother Nature, trying to find the perfect plants which blend with the environment. I engage in acts of malicious horticulture, using poisons and sharp implements to impose my will upon the earth.

She’s all about free-form creativity and coaxing life from the soil. I’m all about applying the latest in technology.

She’s a from a Venus Flytrap and I’m from … well, oddly enough, there aren’t any plants I can find with Mars in their name.

Maybe that’s why her efforts are so much more successful than mine.

 -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

If you like this small sample and want to hear the rest of the essay (or others like it),please visit the Short Cummings Audio website at www.shortcummingsaudio.com. You can see pictures of the wild-flower garden which inspired this essay at Picasaweb.Google.Com

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

In our family we “do” Science Fair the same way other families “do” soccer…or gymnastics…or professional ice skating…or junior beauty pageants…or organized crime. We don’t so much “do” Science Fair as live it.

Our Science Fair efforts are generally divided into four phases — Planning, Production, Panic, and Performance.

Planning is easily the longest phase. It involves finding an idea which is a) unusual enough that nobody else in the fair is likely to do it, b) interesting enough to catch the eye of the judges, and c) simple enough that we can complete it without a multi-million dollar research grant and the facilities of a major university laboratory. It’s also good if the project avoids ripping holes in the space-time continuum or giving rise to dangerous new life forms or creating world-shattering new weapons systems. Of course, if a world-shattering weapon system looked possible AND would catch the judges’ eye we’d probably do it anyway.

 -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=