In late 2009 the scientific community went gaga over the discovery of a tool-using octopus. Well, actually there was more than one tool-using octopus, but since no one in the scientific community could remember whether the plural of octopus is octopi, octopusses or octo-pods, they decided to just report on one of them.
The slimy critter [...]

Really.
It was my fault. If I didn’t want to answer highly technical questions from random strangers, I shouldn’t have worn my red fleece vest to the home improvement center. The disaster that happened the day I wore a white shirt and black tie to the Buy More electronics emporium should have been a [...]

When my dinner arrived at the table it looked less like food and more like evidence in an arson investigation.
“I can’t eat this,” I said.  “The pork chop is completely burned.”
“Not all of it,” my wife said.  “Just cut away the burned part and eat what’s left.”
“What’s left is the bone.”
“Then eat the green beans.”
“Burned.”
“The [...]

Experts are the bodybuilders of the intellectual world; except its harder to spot them in a crowded room.
Body-builders stand out because they are tanned and fit in the exact same way that Mount Everest is not small. Their distressingly unnatural proportions make it tough for them to fit into regular clothes. This is why bodybuilding [...]