Listen up, maggots. You’re here because you’re going to get married soon and it’s my job to see that you do it right. There are plenty of things out there that can endanger a marriage; apathy, infidelity, the inability of the male to share the remote control. I only have a few weeks to teach [...]

As a bachelor, I subscribed to the belief that cleaning house was like going to war; it was to be conducted with forethought and seriousness of purpose, and only when no other alternative could be found. Cleaning with any kind of regularity would have interfered with vital activities like re-watching old movies on VHS, arguing [...]

This past weekend my wife and I decided to replace our counter-top microwave with an over-the-stove model. We had three good reasons; 1) the old microwave no longer worked, 2) we wanted to reclaim our counter space, and 3) we were idiots. When we bought the microwave at the local Buy More, the polo-shirted sales [...]

I am not good at doing nothing. Sitting idle isn’t for me. I’m not happy unless I’m doing something. Hearing that, you might think that I’m a paragon of productivity; a man on the move; someone who gets things done. You would be wrong. I’m a putterer. While some men invest their energy in creating [...]