When my wife and I went out to breakfast, the waitress asked if we were on our honeymoon. This was a reasonable question as we were eating breakfast in Niagara Falls, Canada which which attracts honeymooners the way a bus accident attracts personal injury lawyers. Pretty much everybody you meet in Niagara Falls — including [...]

My lawnmower is gone. He moved away to college. With his departure, my wife and I took off the business casual clothing of active parents and slid into the comfortable shorts and Hawaiian shirts of empty-nesters. And you know what? It’s weird.
Really.
In the evenings, we no longer have to make sure that everyone has finished [...]

I’ve seen a disturbing number of significant family birthdays and anniversaries this year. My youngest son turned eighteen, my oldest son turned twenty-one, and I turned old. My wife, annoyingly, has remained as youthful and beautiful as ever. She claims this to be the result of clean living, a good attitude and [...]

Listen up, maggots. You’re here because you’re going to get married soon and it’s my job to see that you do it right. There are plenty of things out there that can endanger a marriage; apathy, infidelity, the inability of the male to share the remote control. I only have a few weeks to teach [...]