Short Cummings Audio presents Happily Domesticated » media http://www.shortcummingsaudio.com Life -- In Funny, Six-Minute Slices Sat, 24 Jul 2010 07:15:23 +0000 en hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.0 Every episode features a new funny story. Think Erma Bombeck with a PC, Dave Barry with recording software or Garrison Keillor with a microphone... Oh, wait. Strike that last one. If you enjoy clean humor and a slightly skewed perspective on family life (I have two teenage sons...of course my life is skewed-up) please give this show a listen. Kevin Cummings clean Kevin Cummings KevinLeeC@yahoo.com KevinLeeC@yahoo.com (Kevin Cummings) 2006-2010 Life -- In Funny, Six-Minute Slices humor, humor essay, funny, funny story, shortcomings Short Cummings Audio presents Happily Domesticated » media http://assets.farpointmedia.net/shortc/images/shortc.albumart.144.jpg http://www.shortcummingsaudio.com #161 — Missed Diagnoses http://www.shortcummingsaudio.com/2009/07/161-missed-diagoses/ http://www.shortcummingsaudio.com/2009/07/161-missed-diagoses/#comments Sat, 11 Jul 2009 07:15:57 +0000 Kevin http://www.shortcummingsaudio.com/?p=1056

During the recent influenza outbreak, news broadcasters switched into hilarious panic mode. Night after night they talked excitedly in the manner of newscasters in classic Japanese monster movies.

“Swine flu has been sighted outside your town and is headed your way! It will destroy you and your family! You must evacuate at once!”

From the sound of it, we should have been running in panic down the streets while a sixty-foot virus stomped our homes into rubble. The only thing missing was a scientist in a white lab coat and black plastic glasses telling us his secret invention was the key to defeating Swine Flu, but that he couldn’t use it because it was too powerful for mankind to possess.

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Like this excerpt? Want the whole story? Listen to the audio version by clicking the ‘Play’ button at the top of this post. If you’d rather read it, you can find the full text at http://myfavoriteshortcomings.wordpress.com/2009/07/11/missed-diagnoses/

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]]> http://www.shortcummingsaudio.com/2009/07/161-missed-diagoses/feed/ 0 health,media,medicine,science,swine flu - During the recent influenza outbreak, news broadcasters switched into hilarious panic mode. Night after night they talked excitedly in the manner of newscasters in classic Japanese monster movies. - “Swine flu has been sighted outside your town and... During the recent influenza outbreak, news broadcasters switched into hilarious panic mode. Night after night they talked excitedly in the manner of newscasters in classic Japanese monster movies. “Swine flu has been sighted outside your town and is headed your way! It will destroy you and your family! You must evacuate at once!” From the sound of it, we should have been running in panic down the streets while a sixty-foot virus stomped our homes into rubble. The only thing missing was a scientist in a white lab coat and black plastic glasses telling us his secret invention was the key to defeating Swine Flu, but that he couldn’t use it because it was too powerful for mankind to possess. =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= Like this excerpt? Want the whole story? Listen to the audio version by clicking the ‘Play’ button at the top of this post. If you’d rather read it, you can find the full text at http://myfavoriteshortcomings.wordpress.com/2009/07/11/missed-diagnoses/ =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= Notes: * A quick shout-out to all of the nice folks I've been chatting with on Twitter including @spelleanor (http://www.twitter.com/spelleanor), @zac_in_ak (http://www.twitter.com/zac_in_ak), @themoneygeek (http://www.twitter.com/themoneygeek), @mainframe (http://www.twitter.com/mainframe), @mmangen (http://www.twitter.com/mmangen), @CoolB (http://www.twitter.com/CoolB), @NewForestAlex (http://www.twitter.com/NewForestAlex), @BecaVan (http://www.twitter.com/BecaVan), @jTimothyKing (http://www.twitter.com/jTimothyKing), @verseandy (http://www.twitter.com/verseandy) and @hjkuzcotopia (http://www.twitter.com/hjkuzcotopia). * Thanks to Kim and And for playing my promo on the Joss Wheadon fan podcast Upsidedown and Halfway to Happyland (http://www.upsidedownhappyland.com) * Thanks also to CleanCasts.com (http://www.cleancasts.com) -- a great directory -- for featuring this program and @Betanie (http://www.twitter.com/Betanie) for the re-Tweet of their announcement. * Finally, thanks to Shane and Stephen and cousin Tim for hanging in there with me during a recent writing session.  It was fun to have you along. Kevin Cummings clean #139 They’ve Got You Covered http://www.shortcummingsaudio.com/2009/02/139-theyve-got-you-covered/ http://www.shortcummingsaudio.com/2009/02/139-theyve-got-you-covered/#comments Sat, 07 Feb 2009 09:15:53 +0000 Kevin http://www.shortcummingsaudio.com/?p=833 -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
The twentieth century had more than it’s share of dubious “innovations”; atomic weapons, the wonder bra and (of course) new Coke. The worst of the bunch, though, has to be twenty-four-seven wall-to-wall news coverage.

In the early days of television — when most of the sets were still pedal-powered — there were only three networks and respectable men like Walter Cronkite stared into the camera with sincere expressions and read the day’s news to us like a patient teacher reading to a class of dim-witted students. Walt stuck to the facts and gave us the stories in one quick dose; sort of the way you give nasty-tasting cough syrup to a child.

Somewhere along the line the TV networks decided that we were too dense or busy or distractable to absorb … um … what was I talking about?

Oh. Right. As a result of years of exposure to fast-paced TV shows, we no longer had the attention span necessary to … hey, is that a butterfly?

Sorry. I meant to say that we could no longer focus on the news the way Walt delivered it. We still needed quick doses, but we needed them over and over and over. The motto of the modern television news industry is “It’s not done until it’s overdone!”…….

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Like this excerpt? Want the whole story? Listen to the audio version by clicking the ‘Play’ button at the top of this post.

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NOTES:

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]]> http://www.shortcummingsaudio.com/2009/02/139-theyve-got-you-covered/feed/ 0 media,reporting,television,weather -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= The twentieth century had more than it's share of dubious "innovations"; atomic weapons, the wonder bra and (of course) new Coke. The worst of the bunch, though, has to be twenty-four-seven wall-to-wall news coverage. -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= The twentieth century had more than it's share of dubious "innovations"; atomic weapons, the wonder bra and (of course) new Coke. The worst of the bunch, though, has to be twenty-four-seven wall-to-wall news coverage. In the early days of television -- when most of the sets were still pedal-powered -- there were only three networks and respectable men like Walter Cronkite stared into the camera with sincere expressions and read the day's news to us like a patient teacher reading to a class of dim-witted students. Walt stuck to the facts and gave us the stories in one quick dose; sort of the way you give nasty-tasting cough syrup to a child. Somewhere along the line the TV networks decided that we were too dense or busy or distractable to absorb ... um ... what was I talking about? Oh. Right. As a result of years of exposure to fast-paced TV shows, we no longer had the attention span necessary to ... hey, is that a butterfly? Sorry. I meant to say that we could no longer focus on the news the way Walt delivered it. We still needed quick doses, but we needed them over and over and over. The motto of the modern television news industry is "It's not done until it's overdone!"....... -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= Like this excerpt? Want the whole story? Listen to the audio version by clicking the 'Play' button at the top of this post. -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= NOTES: * I mentioned a lot of great podcasts and websites in the show today. You can find them at the following addresses: * James B: http://www.jamesb.com (http://www.jamesb.com) * The Eclectic Review: http://eclectic.libysn.com (http://eclectic.libsyn.com) * You Are The Guest: http://www.youaretheguest.com (http://www.youaretheguest.com) * My Fort Dodge: http://www.myfortdodge.com (http://www.myfortdodge.com) * Grammar Girl: http://grammar.quickanddirtytips.com (http://grammar.quickanddirtytips.com/default.aspx) * Buffy Between the Lines: http://betweenthelinesstudios.com (http://betweenthelinesstudios.com/) * I Should Be Writing http://www.ishouldbewriting.com (http://www.ishouldbewriting.com) * Farpoint Media (My new on-line home!): http://www.farpointmedia.net (http://www.farpointmedia.net) Kevin Cummings clean