Short Cummings Audio presents Happily Domesticated » movies http://www.shortcummingsaudio.com Life -- In Funny, Six-Minute Slices Sat, 24 Jul 2010 07:15:23 +0000 en hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.0 Every episode features a new funny story. Think Erma Bombeck with a PC, Dave Barry with recording software or Garrison Keillor with a microphone... Oh, wait. Strike that last one. If you enjoy clean humor and a slightly skewed perspective on family life (I have two teenage sons...of course my life is skewed-up) please give this show a listen. Kevin Cummings clean Kevin Cummings KevinLeeC@yahoo.com KevinLeeC@yahoo.com (Kevin Cummings) 2006-2010 Life -- In Funny, Six-Minute Slices humor, humor essay, funny, funny story, shortcomings Short Cummings Audio presents Happily Domesticated » movies http://assets.farpointmedia.net/shortc/images/shortc.albumart.144.jpg http://www.shortcummingsaudio.com #184 — The Reviews Are In! http://www.shortcummingsaudio.com/2009/12/the-reviews-are-in/ http://www.shortcummingsaudio.com/2009/12/the-reviews-are-in/#comments Sat, 19 Dec 2009 07:15:27 +0000 Kevin http://www.shortcummingsaudio.com/?p=1247 Sponsored by: www.GotoMyPC.com/podcast

The main problem with film reviews — as far as I’m concerned — is that they tend to be abused by people trying to promote the films. Filmmakers and film reviewers are locked in an unhealthy symbiotic relationship like sharks and remoras, lichens and trees, and American Idol judges and contestants. It’s a bloodsucking relationship in which the hardworking filmmakers are remorselessly drained by the reviewers. Or is it the other way ‘round?

Honestly, it’s tough to tell sometimes.

The poor reviewer has to give up a couple of valuable hours sitting through whatever muck the producers manage to get to stick to the screen and then has to spend another hour or two using a thesaurus to find just the right adjectives for “loathsome”, “nauseating”, and “yucky.” After pounding out a masterpiece (and getting it past the editor and legal department more-or-less intact) the reviewer releases his wisdom to the world. Where it is immediately mangled, mishandled, and abused by the motion picture community. (Full Text)

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Like this excerpt? Want the whole story? Listen to the audio version by clicking the ‘Play’ button at the top of this post. If you’d rather read it, you can find the full text at http://wp.me/pjV28-a3

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]]> http://www.shortcummingsaudio.com/2009/12/the-reviews-are-in/feed/ 1 movies,Reviews Sponsored by: www.GotoMyPC.com/podcast - The main problem with film reviews -- as far as I’m concerned -- is that they tend to be abused by people trying to promote the films. Filmmakers and film reviewers are locked in an unhealthy symbiotic relations... Sponsored by: www.GotoMyPC.com/podcast (http://www.gotomypc.com/podcast) The main problem with film reviews -- as far as I’m concerned -- is that they tend to be abused by people trying to promote the films. Filmmakers and film reviewers are locked in an unhealthy symbiotic relationship like sharks and remoras, lichens and trees, and American Idol judges and contestants. It’s a bloodsucking relationship in which the hardworking filmmakers are remorselessly drained by the reviewers. Or is it the other way ‘round? Honestly, it’s tough to tell sometimes. The poor reviewer has to give up a couple of valuable hours sitting through whatever muck the producers manage to get to stick to the screen and then has to spend another hour or two using a thesaurus to find just the right adjectives for “loathsome”, “nauseating”, and “yucky.” After pounding out a masterpiece (and getting it past the editor and legal department more-or-less intact) the reviewer releases his wisdom to the world. Where it is immediately mangled, mishandled, and abused by the motion picture community. (Full Text (http://wp.me/pjV28-a3)) =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= Like this excerpt? Want the whole story? Listen to the audio version by clicking the ‘Play’ button at the top of this post. If you’d rather read it, you can find the full text at http://wp.me/pjV28-a3 (http://wp.me/pjV28-a3) -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= Notes: * As I mentioned on the show, I had some very encouraging comments on the Christmas episode from some other humorists working on the web.  If you'd like to learn more about them, check out their websites at: http://www.wandaargersinger.com (http://www.wandaargersinger.com/) (Wanda) http://rosevalenta.blogspot.com (http://rosevalenta.blogspot.com/) (Rose) http://enterthelaughter.com/blog/ (http://enterthelaughter.com/blog/) (Marti) Kevin Cummings clean #164 — I Wish That Life Was Like The Movies http://www.shortcummingsaudio.com/2009/08/164-i-wish-that-life-was-like-the-movies/ http://www.shortcummingsaudio.com/2009/08/164-i-wish-that-life-was-like-the-movies/#comments Sat, 01 Aug 2009 07:15:54 +0000 Kevin http://www.shortcummingsaudio.com/?p=1087

Let me share with you my secret shame; I like action movies. I enjoy spending a couple of hours with a big, goofy, enthusiastic film that substitutes explosions for plot and has a soundtrack loud enough to induce brain damage in inanimate objects. My years of sitting in darkened theaters have taught me that the world is full of boy wizards bravely aiding rogue archeologists and super-spies as they battle giant evil robots that travel through time to subjugate humanity by seizing the one ring from its resting place in an museum that comes to life every night.

Okay, so after a while all of the stories sort of run together and the closest thing to a boy wizard in the real world is my news carrier who routinely performs the trick of making the morning paper disappear into the neighbor’s rose bushes. Still, it’s all in how you look at things. With a little imagination (or possibly a few moments of oxygen deprivation) it’s easy to pretend that your own, actual, real life is as exciting as the lives of your on-screen heroes.
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Like this excerpt? Want the whole story? Listen to the audio version by clicking the ‘Play’ button at the top of this post. If you’d rather read it, you can find the full text at

http://myfavoriteshortcomings.wordpress.com/2009/08/01/i-wish-that-life-was-like-the-movies/

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Notes:

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]]> http://www.shortcummingsaudio.com/2009/08/164-i-wish-that-life-was-like-the-movies/feed/ 0 movies - Let me share with you my secret shame; I like action movies. I enjoy spending a couple of hours with a big, goofy, enthusiastic film that substitutes explosions for plot and has a soundtrack loud enough to induce brain damage in inanimate objects. Let me share with you my secret shame; I like action movies. I enjoy spending a couple of hours with a big, goofy, enthusiastic film that substitutes explosions for plot and has a soundtrack loud enough to induce brain damage in inanimate objects. My years of sitting in darkened theaters have taught me that the world is full of boy wizards bravely aiding rogue archeologists and super-spies as they battle giant evil robots that travel through time to subjugate humanity by seizing the one ring from its resting place in an museum that comes to life every night. Okay, so after a while all of the stories sort of run together and the closest thing to a boy wizard in the real world is my news carrier who routinely performs the trick of making the morning paper disappear into the neighbor’s rose bushes. Still, it’s all in how you look at things. With a little imagination (or possibly a few moments of oxygen deprivation) it’s easy to pretend that your own, actual, real life is as exciting as the lives of your on-screen heroes. =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= Like this excerpt? Want the whole story? Listen to the audio version by clicking the ‘Play’ button at the top of this post. If you’d rather read it, you can find the full text at http://myfavoriteshortcomings.wordpress.com/2009/08/01/i-wish-that-life-was-like-the-movies/ (http://myfavoriteshortcomings.wordpress.com/2009/08/01/i-wish-that-life-was-like-the-movies/) -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= Notes: * My thanks to Matt over at http://www.pizzagohere.com/ (http://www.pizzagohere.com/) for extending my research into Teenage Dropsy. * Congratulations to Evan for completing http://airshipdiaries.libsyn.com (http://airshipdiaries.libsyn.com) Kevin Cummings clean