Short Cummings Audio presents Happily Domesticated » school http://www.shortcummingsaudio.com Life -- In Funny, Six-Minute Slices Sat, 24 Jul 2010 07:15:23 +0000 en hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.0 Every episode features a new funny story. Think Erma Bombeck with a PC, Dave Barry with recording software or Garrison Keillor with a microphone... Oh, wait. Strike that last one. If you enjoy clean humor and a slightly skewed perspective on family life (I have two teenage sons...of course my life is skewed-up) please give this show a listen. Kevin Cummings clean Kevin Cummings KevinLeeC@yahoo.com KevinLeeC@yahoo.com (Kevin Cummings) 2006-2010 Life -- In Funny, Six-Minute Slices humor, humor essay, funny, funny story, shortcomings Short Cummings Audio presents Happily Domesticated » school http://assets.farpointmedia.net/shortc/images/shortc.albumart.144.jpg http://www.shortcummingsaudio.com #149 — Glandular Problems http://www.shortcummingsaudio.com/2009/04/149-glandular-problems/ http://www.shortcummingsaudio.com/2009/04/149-glandular-problems/#comments Sat, 18 Apr 2009 07:15:39 +0000 Kevin http://www.shortcummingsaudio.com/?p=954

According to Mr. Tovey, my high school biology teacher, the human body is controlled by a complex set of interconnected organs called glands. For example, you have the adrenal glands; small, timid, and easily frightened organs that panic at the first sign of trouble. Imagine that you’re sitting quietly, letting your mind wander and maybe dozing a bit. Ever vigilant, your adrenal glands are scanning the environment for potential threats like someone else in the meeting asking for your opinion on the Colossus Project. You, personally, would like to handle this calmly and professionally, by raising a single eyebrow as if to say, What do you think I think?

No such luck. Your adrenal glands are squirting adrenaline on all of your other organs like a fireman hosing down a burning factory. Those other organs — which had been dozing right along with you — jump up and start freaking out. Your heart, lungs and sweat glands all race out of control and the best you can manage is a shouted, “WHAT DO YOU THINK I THINK?”

This gives everyone in the room the impression that you are a paranoid, raving lunatic and your adrenal gland can rest easy knowing that it has once again saved you from the danger of earning a promotion.

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Like this excerpt? Want the whole story? Listen to the audio version by clicking the ‘Play’ button at the top of this post. If you’d rather read it, you can find the full text at http://myfavoriteshortcomings.wordpress.com/2009/04/18/glandular-problems/

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]]> http://www.shortcummingsaudio.com/2009/04/149-glandular-problems/feed/ 2 hormones,school,science - According to Mr. Tovey, my high school biology teacher, the human body is controlled by a complex set of interconnected organs called glands. For example, you have the adrenal glands; small, timid, and easily frightened organs that panic at the firs... According to Mr. Tovey, my high school biology teacher, the human body is controlled by a complex set of interconnected organs called glands. For example, you have the adrenal glands; small, timid, and easily frightened organs that panic at the first sign of trouble. Imagine that you’re sitting quietly, letting your mind wander and maybe dozing a bit. Ever vigilant, your adrenal glands are scanning the environment for potential threats like someone else in the meeting asking for your opinion on the Colossus Project. You, personally, would like to handle this calmly and professionally, by raising a single eyebrow as if to say, What do you think I think? No such luck. Your adrenal glands are squirting adrenaline on all of your other organs like a fireman hosing down a burning factory. Those other organs -- which had been dozing right along with you -- jump up and start freaking out. Your heart, lungs and sweat glands all race out of control and the best you can manage is a shouted, "WHAT DO YOU THINK I THINK?" This gives everyone in the room the impression that you are a paranoid, raving lunatic and your adrenal gland can rest easy knowing that it has once again saved you from the danger of earning a promotion. -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= Like this excerpt? Want the whole story? Listen to the audio version by clicking the ‘Play’ button at the top of this post. If you’d rather read it, you can find the full text at http://myfavoriteshortcomings.wordpress.com/2009/04/18/glandular-problems/ (http://myfavoriteshortcomings.wordpress.com/2009/04/18/glandular-problems/) -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= Notes: * Thanks to Tairy for including one of my essays in episode #170 of Little Red's Writing Hood.  You can find out more at: http://www.lrwh.us/lrwh.us/LRWH-Podcast.html (http://www.lrwh.us/lrwh.us/LRWH-Podcast.html) * Thanks, also, to Jeffrey Hite at Great Hites for the bumper.  You can follow Jeffrey's great podcast at: http://greathites.blogspot.com (http://greathites.blogspot.com) * Finally, my continued gratitude to the good folks at Slice of SciFi for promoting my show.  Find them (and listen in) at: http://www.sliceofscifi.com (http://www.sliceofscifi.com) Kevin Cummings clean