If they made a movie about my professional life, it would be called Kevin Cummings and the ‘To-Do’ List of Doom.
Each workday I start with a nice clean sheet of note paper which I sully with an ugly list of tasks I have to accomplish. This would be tolerable if I could just finish each [...]

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After an extensive examination, the doctor concluded that my wife wasn’t right in the head.
Aside: my wife is glaring at me with a look that could blister the paint on a battleship. In the interest of avoiding incineration, let me provide a some context.
The doctor in question is my wife’s oh-toe-lair-in …. auto-lauren [...]