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(Editor’s Note:  I can hear you all saying, “Hey!  What happened to episode 21?”   Not to worry.  You’ll get it.  Sometime in November.  It’s a Christmas episode that was originally released in November and it just seemed a little early to let it back out into the world.  In the meantime, enjoy a non-Christmassy episode.)

For years I resisted buying a cell phone. As near as I could tell, it was just a very long leash. If I carried one I could never be alone or out of reach. In a moment of weakness, I succumbed and, to my surprise … I found out I was right all along.

A trip to the store confirmed my suspicions.

At my wife’s request, I stopped to buy coffee creamer. Whistling a cheery tune, I breezed past the baskets and carts – no need for them since I was only getting one item – and strode to the dairy case at the back of the store. A moment later, creamer in hand, I headed for the check-out.

A tinny, electronic version of a Bach fugue interrupted my whistling. My wife called to say, “Could you also pick up a gallon of milk?”

Sure. No sweat. I pivoted like an NBA All-Star and scurried back the way I’d come. Creamer in one hand, milk in the other, I headed for the check-out. (Full Text)

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(Editor’s Note:  This is a piece I wrote about four years ago and I’m pleased to announce that my beloved and I will celebrate our twenty-fifth in a couple of weeks.)

My beloved and I recently celebrated our twenty-first wedding anniversary.  After putting up with me for more than two decades I figured she deserved something special.  I checked with the Nobel people to see if they had a category for endurance in a marriage.  No luck.

So an award was out.  I checked the web to find the traditional gifts for people whose marriage is of legal drinking age.  Any guesses?  Elegant dinnerware?  Fine fabrics?  Sweet foods?  Nope.  Nickel, brass and iolite.

Which raises an important question; what the heck is iolite? (Full Text)

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The agent crept across the floor, taking each step with precision. His stockinged foot landed on a sharp object unseen in the dark and he winced in pain, drawing a sudden, sharp breath to stifle a scream. He paused. Had he been heard?

“Whaaaaa!” The baby starting crying.

Any first-year dad would have known better than to walk in a child’s room in stockinged feet. Face it, secret agents have the glamorous life-style, but dads have the real skills. (Full Text)

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My wife and I take two radically different approaches to gardening.  She negotiates with Mother Nature, trying to find the perfect plants which blend with the environment.  I engage in acts of malicious horticulture, using poisons and sharp implements to impose my will upon the earth.

She’s all about free-form creativity and coaxing life from the soil.  I’m all about applying the latest in technology.

She’s a from a Venus Flytrap and I’m from … well, oddly enough, there aren’t any plants I can find with Mars in their name.

Maybe that’s why her efforts so much more successful than mine. (Full Text)

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