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A colleague returned to work after her twelve-week maternity leave full of stories about childbirth and infant care. To hear her talk, she and her husband are the first human beings in the entire history of the world to have had a child. This is completely ridiculous since my wife and I were the first people ever to have a child.

Well…not really.

At the time it sure felt like it even though we knew other people had given birth before. We’d seen the training films in the mandatory child birth class. It was an eye-opening experience that left my wife trying to convince me to carry the baby to term. Her argument was that she’d carried the baby for five months, all she was asking me to do was carry it for four. Couldn’t I see how fair that was? (Full Text)

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Twenty-five years ago I couldn’t get enough of video games. It was a hopeless, one-way affair. I gave my time and devotion and cash to the game industry and they returned questionable entertainment like Raiders of the Lost Ark on the original Atari console. This was a game which compensated for its pixelated graphics with tedious game play. It was awful and I couldn’t have loved it more.

Indy gave way to Sonic and Mario and Luigi and Princess Peach and the games have gotten more sophisticated and visually attractive. Somehow, though, I don’t connect with them anymore.

Probably because I find most of the subject matter appalling. In 2009 the top selling games included titles like Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare 2, Halo 3 ODST, and Borderlands. Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare 2 The Next Chapter made the news for having the longest title of any game this year and for the fact that thousands of gamers lined up to buy copies and then took the next week off to play. As a result, IT departments and college classes had a significant decrease in attendance while Cheeto and Mountain Dew sales increased dramatically (Full Text)

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Notes:

• I really enjoyed the feedback on episode 193 (USA Number 2) from Shane, Norm and Robert.
• A word of thanks to Tim King for sending me a copy of his book “Love: Through the Eyes of an Idiot“.
• There’s a cool, new writing blog at http://throwingupwords.wordpress.com

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Pets is an anagram of pest. This revelation burst in upon me like the light of infinity while I was counting out three-hundred dollars in twenties for the nice lady behind the reception desk in the veterinarian’s office. Three-hundred bucks would make a nice pot in a poker game. It would also pay for a new iPod, a night on the town or three hundred assorted items off the McDonald’s value menu. Instead, I was plunking it down to cover the cost of surgery for my cat.

We had taken him to the vet because he had what appeared to be a big blood blister on his ear. After a half-minute examination — which, based on the fee for the appointment worked out to two dollars per second — the vet announced that the cat had a hematoma on his pinna.

“What is that in layman’s terms?” I asked.

“Sort of like a big blood blister on his ear. It won’t go away on its own. We’ll need to operate.” (Full Text)

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Notes:

• There was a lovely (and encouraging) review on this podcast over at http://blog.said.fm/cant-cook-wont-cook
• Thanks to Shane (http://bdgjm.blogspot.com/) for his enthusiastic support of my book and the links to BN.Com where you can purchase it.
• And a shout-out to my Twitter and Facebook friends Mainframe, GACockerham, Ian and Maury for their supportive words lately.

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[Editor's Note: This week, instead of the usual humor, I wanted to share my experience as a spectator at the 2002 Winter Olympic Games.  I hope you enjoy this little change of pace and rest assured that next week I'll be back with my usual smart-alec comments.]

Watching a bobsled race isn’t like watching a football game or a soccer match. There’s nowhere you can sit to see all of the action. My wife and I had reserved seats in the stands at the Utah Olympic Sports Park. From that vantage point, we had a glimpse of turn 12 and a clear view of the long sweep of turn 14. For the rest of the race, we had to watch the track map, scoreboard and Jumbotron.

We felt lucky to have tickets in the stands, though. Those without had to make do by crowing in next to the track and hoping for the best. From where we sat, we saw people waving flags from dozen different nations and we heard conversations in languages we couldn’t even begin to identify. (Full Text)

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Notes:

• You can learn more about the remarkable Vonetta Flowers (and buy her book) at http://www.vonettaflowers.com/